Why did I hate Christmas?

I saw the Christmas tree inside a mall. I stood in front of it and realized that the holidays season is near approaching. I wondered why time flies so fast. It seemed like yesterday was Christmas and then, I heard Christmas songs again.

I stood in front of that Christmas tree.

" What are you going to cook for tonight mama?", I asked my mother.

" Of course, I won't forget your favorite pasta.", she replied.

Twelve midnight came. We were singing, dancing, eating. Perhaps, Christmas eve's the best time of the year. The only time when Santa would pay a visit and give me and my younger sisters a surprise. The next day, my uncle Dodo, auntie, cousins and family friends came to our house for the traditional Christmas family gathering. Then I dropped by to my god parents, for all we know, to have a gift. Then me and my cousins went to a department store for some sort of shopping and window shopping as well. Before the end of the day, we exchanged our gifts.

Dinner, picture-taking and then the sweet good byes. We spent another wonderful Christmas day. Seemed like an annual routine but something to look forward to.

How time flies so fast?

Year 2001. Months before Christmas. My uncle Dodo had a stroke for the second time. I was thinking that it was just the same as his first attack. But then, I was wrong. He got paralyzed, hooked to a mechanical ventilator and few days later, he died.

Christmas day became different since then. My cousins with their mother transferred to another place. After graduation in college, I went to Manila to take the board exam. Same year, I learned that my parents lived separately. A year after, my sister next to me have her own family.

Another Christmas day came, year after a year. Here comes 2010.

As I stood in front of that exquisite Christmas tree filled with fancy decors, I asked my self, "Why I don't like Christmas? Why I can't feel the excitement the way I used to be?" I answered, "Christmas trees, Christmas lights...they are all the same". They will just remind me of something that I want to experience again. Something that is beyond the bounds of possibility. So before I am going to shed a tear, I walked and went on to where I must go. I planned to hit the gym today and not to reminisce the past at all.

I know I must move on. Thanks to Facebook, I saw the pictures of my loved ones. They had wonderful pictures together. It feels great to see those smiles again. I missed them so much. Everything is not the same as before but everything is still beautiful. I must admit, I'm the only one who's still dwelling in the old lang syne. For the record, I did not hate Christmas, never at once.

Time to sweat! My next story maybe " Why I became a gym brat?" It's a long story :)

Thanks for reading.

Whatever happened to " Til death do us part"?

Cathy was so happy walking in the isle wearing her expensive wedding gown. She saw her groom standing, waiting for her in front of the altar. And she can see the happiness in his eyes. She couldn't wait to hold his hands, to kiss him after saying their vows to each other, to be pronounced as a legal husband and wife.

She was so happy. Two years ago. Because today, she is going to the court for their divorce hearing.

What happened to their vows? "Til-death-do-us-part" no more.

The story that I mentioned above is a reality that is happening to our society nowadays. Divorce, annulment, legal separation, etc. In Hollywood, it is not unusual. So it's a big question of mine that why after saying their sweet promises during their wedding day they will just forget it? What could be wrong? My parents got separated before for only a year but perhaps, it is their destiny to be together again. I knew their reason. And let's just say they have irreconcilable differences that later they were able to reconcile. But how about the other couples who have really decided to be part to each other? (Sigh)

Whatever happened to "Til death do us part"?

Career. For me, this is the primary reason why a lot of couples tend to end their marriage. Both are busy and so they give less and lesser time for each other. Especially if they have different goals and priorities. Maybe, that is what they label as irreconcilable differences. Although it depends but I just noticed that most of the Hollywood stars or even our local artists are on their second or third marriage. Personally, I cannot blame those people. Being famous, wealthy and influential can really change the way you are.

Temptation. Who cannot be tempted when a Paris Hilton ( for the guys) or Brad Pitt (for the ladies) will stand in front of you half naked? Well, that is just an exaggeration. Nevertheless, the reason of most of the annulments or divorces is "third party" or infidelity issues. I will not mention a name here but a lot of famous people here and abroad did have this kind of dilemma. I also heard that a lot of OFWs do have an extramarital affairs with their coworkers. They say it is due to home sickness. I don't want to be judgmental and say that they just let their selves to be succumbed to temptation. Because maybe, just maybe, they just fell in love again? Ouch...

Fell-out-of-love-thing. You said to your husband or wife, I will stay through thick and thin, in health and in sickness...blah, blah, blah. And now you just wake up and realized that you no longer love him or her. You saw the wrinkles or maybe the flappy stomach or the gray hair or the attitude that you did not expect to see. Or maybe you saw this lady or gentleman in the restaurant and wished that your partner would be like her or him. Or maybe you just want to be free again and hang out with your friends because your partner did not allow you to do it since you got married. And so many maybe's to justify that you no longer want to be with your husband or wife.

And now after reading those things that most of us would find as real, what do you think are the best ways to save the " Til death do us part"?

For me, having a quality time to each other is the best. Once in a while you go on dating just like before. No expectations and do not make your partner like a possession. It's not a crime to have a career but couples should never forget to talk what they have been through at the end of the day. Do not sleep at night with an unsettled argument. Always say "I love you". Always pray that God will guide each of you. And take time to reminisce the day you promised " Til death do us part."

And now, what's yours?

Life is beautiful

Several years ago, I happened to watch an Italian movie entitled Life is Beautiful. A blend of drama, romance, action and comedy set in the years before World War II. It's not all about the movie that I would like to elaborate more but it's the title. Life is beautiful. After then, it became a sort of an inspirational quote to me. In fact, it's one of my favorite.

Anyway, I really have no real intention in making this blog. As of now, I am making a lot of updates for this site and fo far, I am glad that my readers, meaning you, can interact in real time. You can hit the Like button of the famous Facebook. That is, if you like my site.

I do not know how to apply here the Open Graphic protocol, if it's possible. That means, when you LIKE this site, it will appear in your FB account and since then, any updates from here will appear in your wall. Just like a Fan page. Wow, how sophisticated is technology right now. But as I said, I don't know if it's feasible. However, I made a fan page so I can connect to a lot of people and so is this site. I do not intend to become famous. I just love writing and when people like my articles, it's such a wonderful feeling.

That's for now my beloved readers. I'll get back very soon.

Just a thought...

Am I lost?

I did not understand but it seemed like I was in a different world where almost everything was different from before. It's like I was having a culture shock. They say, no one is the same, a.k.a, everyone is unique. And yes it's totally unique. Indeed.

Gone were the days when my jokes could make others laugh. When people would listen if I needed to speak. Back when I knew how to be humble and be proud. They're gone...they're gone.

I tried to walk and kept walking believing that it might just me who have changed. But it was a futile journey. I realized that am not naive enough to comprehend that sometimes you have to leave a few enemies and lots of old friends for you to meet lots of new enemies and only a few friends. Sometimes you will experience a place where people, as countless as the sand, would never believe in your abilities. Where you need to be humble and forget to be proud. Where you can't talk and just listen. Where your jokes are not funny. Where your best is invisible. Where you feel you're just nothing.

So I momentarily stopped and asked my self again, " Am I lost?"
Then I knew I am not.
I kept searching and it took a while for me to learn that no one could find something that isn't missing. So I never found me, for I was never lost at all. It's just the world that surrounds me that keeps on changing. I just have to deal with it. Someday, I know I would depart again and discover new challenges.

This world of mine is just so big that part of it is yet to be discovered. And the greatest part of it? My loved ones and God. With them I could never be lost for they are the compass of my voyage.

SPEECHLESS

( PLS. SEE THE IMAGE ENTITLED SPEECHLESS, IN THE LOWER PART OF THIS PAGE or OPEN THE LINK AT THE END OF THIS ARTICLE TO SEE THE VIDEO)

Only a stone of heart will not be touched with this clip. I almost cried when I saw it. Know why? I'm guilty. My busy life kept me away from my parents. I seldom call them. But I love them. And I know they love me too.

It's embarrassing but yes, I almost cried. It made me speechless.

I remember my old patients when I was working in a hospital as a staff nurse. Like the descriptions in the video, most of them were weak, sensitive and had a hearing,visual and speech impairment. I saw loneliness in their eyes. And if I made them smile, it's one-of-a-kind achievement.

And now that I saw this video, I thought of my parents of course. They are not that old yet. It's just that after I watched it, questions came: What if time will come that they will need me for the same reasons, would I be there for them? Would I be patient enough to understand them the way they did when I was a little kid? What if I won't? And many what if's came into my mind....

Speechless. Because these words are not from my mouth. These are the words of my soul. It's like something has awaken it from a very long sleep. And I needed it. I have so many goals to achieve and priorities to commit that made me so busy and taken for granted the persons who know me inside and out. The one who made me this far. My inspiration. My parents.

I'm sorry to my Mom and Dad for being away from you. I know you're happy for me and I know you miss me so much. But I want you to know that I'm always thinking both of you. I know I don't text or call more often, but every night before I sleep, I pray to God that He will protect all of you. There were nights when I felt lonely, I just cried and wished that you're with me. But God is really good. He let us to be part from each other to let us know how much we care. I remember our odd days together. The times that seemed like we were not a family. The times that we gave each other a heart ache. But now I understand. No one is perfect. I have forgiven you for all your shortcomings. And I hope you will forgive me too. After all, the misunderstandings that we had made us strong. Thank you for one reason. Thank you for loving me. I love you too. Someday, we will be together again.

I would like to give a million thanks for the one who made the message in this video. It's the best inspirational message that I've read.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXdPId8ssxY

The Chronicles of Ferdinand Marcos and Yamashita Treasure

A myth or reality?

I wrote here two stories about this treasure and why it's related to the late former president Marcos.

Yamashita's gold, also referred to as the Yamashita treasure, is the name given to the alleged loot stolen in Southeast Asia by Japanese forces during World War II and hidden in caves, tunnels and underground complexes in the Philippines. It is named for the Japanese General Tomoyuki Yamashita, nicknamed "The Tiger of Malaya". Though accounts that the treasure remains hidden in Philippines have lured treasure hunters from around the world for over fifty years, its existence is disputed by most experts.The rumored treasure has been the subject of a complex lawsuit that was filed in a Hawaiian state court in 1988 involving Philippine treasure hunter, Rogelio Roxas, and former Philippines president, Ferdinand Marcos.
(Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)





A Yamashita treasure map/sketch left and handover by a Japanese General to his Filipino masseur before he was killed last WWII.










Why the former president Marcos was involved in the legendary treasure?

Story I.

In March 1988, a Philippine treasure hunter named Rogelio Roxas filed a lawsuit in the state of Hawaii against the former president of the Philippines, Ferdinand Marcos and his wife Imelda Marcos for theft and human rights abuses. Roxas claimed that in Baguio City in 1961 he met the son of a former member of the Japanese army who mapped for him the location of the legendary Yamashita Treasure. Roxas claimed a second man, who served as Yamashita's interpreter during the Second World War, told him of visiting an underground chamber there where stores of gold and silver were kept, and who told of a golden buddha kept at a convent located near the underground chambers. Roxas claimed that within the next few years he formed a group to search for the treasure, and obtained a permit for the purpose from a relative of Ferdinand, Judge Pio Marcos. In 1971, Roxas claimed, he and his group uncovered an enclosed chamber on state lands near Baguio City where he found bayonets, samurai swords, radios, and skeletal remains dressed in a Japanese military uniform. Also found in the chamber, Roxas claimed, were a three foot high golden colored buddha and numerous stacked crates which filled an area approximately 6 feet x 6 feet x 35 feet. He claimed he opened just one of the boxes, and found it packed with gold bullion. He said he took from the chamber the golden buddha, which he estimated to weigh 1,000 kilograms, and one box with twenty-four gold bars, and hid them in his home. He claimed he resealed the chamber for safekeeping until he could arrange the removal of the remaining boxes which he suspected were also filled with gold bars. Roxas said he sold seven of the gold bars from the opened box, and sought potential buyers for the golden buddha. Two individuals representing prospective buyers examined and tested the metal in the buddha, Roxas said, and reported it was made of solid, 20 carat gold. It was soon after this, Roxas claimed, that President Ferdinand Marcos learned of Roxas' discovery and ordered him arrested, beaten, and the buddha and remaining gold seized. Roxas alleged that in retaliation to his vocal campaign to reclaim the buddha and the remainder of the treasure taken from him, Ferdinand continued to have Roxas threatened, beaten and eventually incarcerated for over a year.
Following his release, Roxas put his claims against Marcos on hold until Ferdinand lost the presidency in 1986. But in 1988, Roxas and the Golden Budha Corporation, which now held the ownership rights to the treasure Roxas claims was stolen from him, filed suit against Ferdinand and wife Imelda in a Hawaiian state court seeking damages for the theft and the surrounding human rights abuses committed against Roxas. Roxas died on the eve of trial, but prior to his death he gave the deposition testimony that would be later used in evidence. In 1996, the Roxas estate and the Golden Budha Corporation received what was then largest judgment ever awarded in history, $22 billion which with interest increased to $40.5 billion. In 1998, The Hawaii Supreme Court held that there was sufficient evidence to support the jury's finding that Roxas found the treasure and that Marcos converted it. However, the court reversed the damage award, holding that the $22 billion award of damages for the chamber full of gold was too speculative as there was no evidence of quantity or quality, and ordered a new hearing on the value of the golden buddha and 17 bars of gold only.After several more years of legal proceedings, the Golden Budha Corporation obtained a final judgment against Imelda Marcos to the extent of her interest in the Marcos estate in the principal amount of $13,275,848.37 and Roxas’ estate obtained a $6 million judgment on the claim for human right abuse. (Source: Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

The golden buddha said to be discovered by Rogelio Roxas.






Story II. This account is scary.

In a new book, Gold Warriors: America’s Secret Recovery of Yamashita’s Gold, Seagrave and his co-author (his wife, Peggy) have affirmed virtually all of what The Spotlight reported about Marcos and his rise to power-and of his ultimate ouster, including the reasons why.
But even more than that, the Seagraves have outlined the existence of an extraordinary hidden cache of gold-looted by infamous Japanese warlord Yamashita Tomoyuki from the nations of Asia prior to and during World War II—much of which (but not all) was later seized by American forces and used to fund what was called the Black Eagle Trust, a multi-national covert operations treasure chest utilized during the Cold War and up until, apparently, even today. And yes, Marcos himself recovered a big chunk of the treasure. This was, as The Spotlight said to much criticism, the real source of his wealth.
Big names such as former U.S. Secretary of State John Foster Dulles, John J. McCloy, head of the World Bank, General Edward Lansdale and others are just a few of the familiar figures whose roles in the shadowy Black Eagle Trust are recounted by the Seagraves. The tentacles of this massive treasure reach throughout the big banks of the world today and its economic impact has never before been outlined in such amazing detail.
It seems that no American president has been in the dark about the existence of this gold horde—much of which still remains hidden, buried, in the Philippine islands and elsewhere in the Pacific and which is still the subject of wide-ranging treasure hunts.
According to the Seagraves, as late as March 2001—in the early weeks of the newly-minted George W. Bush administration, associates of the Bush family were evidently deeply involved in the treasure-hunting and in efforts to profit from the sale and transfer of the recovered treasure. And what is of particular note is that, so say the Seagraves, two U.S. Navy ships were being utilized in the effort.
What about the Marcos connection? The Spotlight asserted that Marcos’s actual wealth—in unaccounted billions—stemmed from the fact that Marcos had actually recovered a large cache of the hidden gold in the days following the end of World War II. Critics said The Spotlight was wrong and that Marcos had actually stolen billions from his nation’s treasury. Now, however, the Seagraves cite no less an authority than retired General John Singlaub, a vaunted hero of both World War II and Korea who finished up his career as the top U.S. military commander in Korea, dismissed by then-President Jimmy Carter.
Singlaub actually became quite active in the covert American efforts to recover the “Yamashita treasure” and, according to Singlaub, “I knew from past experience that stories of buried Japanese gold in the Philippines were legitimate. Marcos’s $12 billion fortunate actually came from [this] treasure, not skimmed-off U.S. aid. But Marcos had only managed to rake off a dozen or so of the biggest sites. That left well over a hundred untouched.”
This, of course, means that Yamashita’s gold—which amounts to certainly hundreds of billions in value, probably trillions—was a real source of power and influence for Marcos and, in the end, proved not only to be a source of his rise to power, but, ultimately, his undoing.
The Seagraves relate—echoing The Spotlight—that when Marcos demanded a higher-than-usual commission for lending a portion of his gold horde to the Reagan administration in order to prop up a Reagan scheme to manipulate the world gold market, this was the beginning of Marcos’ downfall. As a consequence, then U.S. CIA-Director William Casey set in motion the riots and protests that began creating trouble for Marcos in the streets of Manila.
Although Casey flew to Manila, along with U.S. Treasury Secretary Donald Regen, CIA economist Professor Higdon and an attorney, Lawrence Kreager, to give Marcos a “last chance”, the Philippine nationalist would not buckle. Higdon told Marcos that he would be out of power “in two weeks” for not appeasing the international banking houses and their agents in the American administration.
The Seagraves report that a source close to Marcos advised them that Marcos was then approached by an emissary from David Rockefeller’s Trilateral Commission asking Marcos to contribute $54 billion in gold bullion to a so-called “global development fund”. Marcos’ response was to consign the Trilateral demand into a waste basket.
In no short order, of course, Marcos was forced from office and flown to Hawaii with his family where they were held effectively under house arrest. Marcos and his wife told many people—including reporters from The Spotlight—that they had never expected to be taken to Hawaii, that they had, instead, expected to be flown to safety from Manila to Marco’s home island of Ilocos Norte.
In the meantime, billions of dollars worth of gold certificates that the Marcos [couple] had taken with them were confiscated by the U.S. government. But when the Marcoses demanded the return of the certificates, the U.S. said the certificates were “fake”.
In other words, the Reagan administration casually and ruthlessly stole billions from the Marcos, at the same time helping perpetuate the media myth that the Marcos family had stolen billions from their own nation’s treasury.
(And it should be noted, for the historical record, that one of the key behind-the-scenes Reagan administration operatives plotting against Marcos was one Paul Wolfowitz, now internationally known today as one of the prime movers behind the American effort to depose Saddam Hussein—probably no coincidence considering Saddam’s refusal, like Marcos, to surrender his nation’s sovereignty to international banking interests.)
The Seagraves also outline—and this will interest many people—the strange dealings of the John Birch Society (as far back as the mid-1970s) in a scheme to cut business arrangements with the Marcos regime in the marketing of some $20 billion of Marcos’ private gold horde. These deals fell through and, in the end, the Birchers fell out with their partners in the scheme. Evidently Congressman Larry McDonald (D-Ga.), then a leader of the Birch group, was privy to these events and thus evidently knew quite a bit about the international Black Eagle Trust at the time of his death. [The “shoot down” of flight KAL 007 is still surrounded by mystery.]
Considering the fact that The Spotlight was the only American newspaper to honestly report on the behind-the-scenes intrigues that led to the destruction of Ferdinand Marcos, it was no coincidence that after his ouster, Marcos gave The Spotlight several exclusive interviews at his home in exile in Hawaii, pushing The Spotlight to the top of a long list of worldwide newspapers clamoring for the opportunity to interview the fallen leader.
It turns out that, at precisely the time when The Spotlight was interviewing Marcos, a young American CIA operative, Alan Foringer, was deeply involved in the covert operations trying to secure what remained of the Yamashita (and Marcos) gold.
So, it’s probably no coincidence, again, that Foringer popped up at The Spotlight’s offices on a number of occasions, posing as an international businessman. It was only the publication of the Seagrave’s book that exposed precisely who Foringer really was: a CIA figure trying to find out what The Spotlight knew (if anything) about the Marcos treasure. Foringer himself later died under mysterious circumstances, probably a victim of murder.
These are just a few of the revelations appearing in the 332 detail-packed pages of this remarkable new book, one which is thoroughly documented. The Seagraves know that they risked a great deal by bringing out these facts but they say right up front that “if we are murdered, readers will have no difficulty figuring out who ‘they’ are.” (Source: Existence of Secret WWII Gold Horde Confirmed, Exclusive to American Free Press, By Michael Collins Piper, http://www.preferrednetwork.com/GOLD_WARRIORS.htm)

DISCLAIMER:

There are many reports in the world wide web that would link Marcos and Yamashita treasure. There are critics saying everything is fictitious.
I did not intend to connect CIA to my story and to undermine the US government. In fact, I don't know if this is a real one. I published it here in my page just to share this and it's up to my reader if he will believe or not.

And where did I get the idea to write about this?
Simple.
I love conspiracy theories and mysterious reports. Google is such a big help.

Japanese troops during WWII

Scattered Thoughts

I want to express the words that I want to write. But I just can't find the right alphabets, the right words, the right sentences, the right paragraph.

I can't find the right story. That's it.

All in my mind are just like the images above. ABSTRACT.

One hour and thirty three minutes.

I was just staring in the monitor, but still, my mind has scattered thoughts. I can't figure out what kind of story will I be writing. Will it be about the Martial Law in Maguindanao...or the continuation of my last blog about the Story of an RN...or any experiences or lessons I have over the past few days...

But I as I looked at these pictures, I can see there's a beauty in it. And that beauty suddenly made up my mind. It's like I found something. I must borrow the words of the Greek engineer Archimedes when he found the principle of density. "EUREKA!"

The words are bursting out of my brain!

This story is such a different kind of thing coz I found it not so intellectual or intriguing. This is just the bizzare side of me.

Everyone knows that abstracts have beauty. Only that not all can decipher their real meaning.

I truly appreciate the allurement of abstract images but I must admit that it's hard for me to understand them. It's not all about wisdom. Sometimes, people can see it's message but mostly with different perspectives. And it's maybe because their meaning can never be seen with the naked eye but thru emotions. Emotion can see things that most of us find obscure. Just like the abstract paintings. There are no mathematical formula or any scientific procedures for that. It's really difficult to interpret them and for sure, people will have different ideas. Because different people have different emotions at the same time.

But ooopss......

It seems that I am running out of words. And if you'll gonna ask me why?

My thoughts are just scattered again. And I don't understand.

Just like this one.

A story of an R.N.

2:30 p.m.

I was sitting in the departure area of NAIA3. I still had one hour before my flight and so I took a nap.

And before I knew it, a female voice was calling my name because I needed to board on the plane. She said, " It's time to go, sir. You must have slept very well."

"Yeah, I think so" I replied. And I we went inside the plane. The woman, who was a flight attendant, ushered me to my seat.

After the 13-hour trip, the sign "FASTEN YOUR SEATBELT" was switched on. And I heard the captain saying," Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Los Angeles International Airport."

"At last, finally. I'm here", I said. I felt like coming to the USA was the greatest success of my life.

I took a taxi from the airport to my apartment where my future colleagues were waiting. They welcomed me with a pizza party. Everything was wonderful except that I missed my love ones in the Philippines. How I wished that they were with me in that beautiful place. Yes, everything was beautiful.

Days and months and years have passed.

I had a green card. I was able to buy my own house and my own SUV. I had $145,000.00 in my bank account. I was able to purchase a condominium in The Fort in Manila. I was able to a have a European tour. I worked as staff nurse in L.A, California and Miami, Florida. I played twice in a casino in Las Vegas. I had a successful career.

Then suddenly I asked my self, " What happened to my friends?"

And so I decided to have a vacation once again in the Philippines. I looked for my classmates and former co-workers. I found my best friend in college and I was surprised.

He did not work abroad even a single year in his whole life. I told myself that he's not as successful as me. And I asked him why.

" Many nurses are cramming to leave this country. For them, working abroad means success. And staying here is a failure."

I was astonished with his response. With no doubt, what he said was real. Some students even took the "prestigious" BS Nursing because of their desire to live and work overseas. And because of it's promising greener pasture.

I was also wrong when I thought that my friend being stucked in the Philippines did not succeed. I saw that he was happy with his career life. I guess he had the same kind of happiness I have with my life.

And I realized that success doesn't rely on the things that you have purchased or the countries that you have been to. My friend was satisfied with everything he has done from our college years until that time we met again. That was another meaning of success to me. Satisfaction.

And I was not satisfied yet. I wanted to have millions of dollars in my bank account. I wanted to have my own hacienda. I wanted to travel a lot and learn different languages. I wanted more and more than I have.

I was wrong.

I was not as successful as my bestfriend.

3:20 p.m. NAIA 3

A woman woke me up. I knew she's a flight attendant.

"Oh my God! Am I late?" I asked the woman.

" No Sir, you still have 10 minutes to board the plane", she replied. " You must have slept very well?"

"Sounds familiar." I was talking to myself.

I went inside the plane. The flight attendant ushered me to my seat. I smiled.

Everything was a dream.